Growing up in Wichita with no role models and violence all around him, Kailyn Carter thought he knew exactly how his story would end. Big Brothers Big Sisters rewrote it.
When Kailyn Carter was a young boy in Wichita, Kansas the only future he thought he had was the one he saw all around him. Kailyn grew up with a single mom and two siblings. He didn’t really know anybody with a college degree, and many of his cousins and uncles were involved in gangs and violence.
“It was brother, sister, mom and me against the world,” Kailyn said.
He didn’t see many people with solid families or careers, so that’s what his future had to be. But that outlook began to change when Kailyn’s mom got him connected with Kansas Big Brothers Big Sisters.
The organization works to inspire youth through one-to-one mentorship and believes that all youth have potential and deserve the opportunity to achieve success in life.
Kailyn first met his mentor, affectionately referred to as a Big, when he was about 12 years old. Middle school is tough enough as it is, but it was particularly challenging for Kailyn, who’d never really had a lot of consistency growing up. His Big changed that. For the first time in his life, Kailyn said, someone began to consistently show up.
“Every third Thursday of the month, he’d come and hang out with me,” Kailyn said. We’d do all sorts of things. Fishing, basketball games, and even just hanging out at his house watching movies.”
His Big had just graduated from the University of Oklahoma with a degree in aerospace engineering and was working locally at an aerospace manufacturer. Kailyn says he wanted to be just like him. The example that his Big presented made Kailyn think that attending college was a real possibility.
Eventually, Kailyn turned that possibility into a reality and became one of the first people in his family to get a bachelor’s degree when he graduated from Wichita State University in 2023. He now works as a settlement analyst at Koch Minerals & Trading.
Looking back, Kailyn realizes his life could have been completely different if it hadn’t been for the influence of his Big. Many of the men in his family, including a cousin who was same age, have died due to violence.
“Big Brothers Big Sisters saved my life in a pretty substantial way,” Kailyn said. “I couldn’t fathom what I would be without them.”
Mary Shannon is the president and CEO of Kansas Big Brothers Big Sisters. To her, Kailyn’s story is an example of what’s possible when the program is at its best.
“Our programs really focus on long-term outcomes,” she said. “We want to move the needle for kids facing poverty, not defined just by economics, but by what they lack in their lives, whether that’s relationships, self-esteem, education or whatever else that might be.”
To accomplish that, Big Brothers Big Sisters matches youth with caring adults who can step into their lives and befriend them. As simple as that sounds, she said, the program works because it helps remove barriers for children by showing them what’s possible.
“It’s not difficult,” she said. “There’s no mystery to it. Every human being wants and deserves to be seen, and that’s what our Bigs do for our youth. They just consistently show up.”
In a long-term longitudinal study spanning 35 years involving Kansas Big Brothers Big Sisters, researchers found that the majority of kids who participated in the program had household incomes that reflected those of their mentors rather than those of the households they were born into. That’s a real-world outcome that impacts more than just individuals.
“This didn’t just change my life, but it’s changed my daughter’s life, too,” Kailyn said. “And it will change her children’s lives as well. That’s the beauty of this.”
Mary said that kids who come out of the program become real contributors to their communities. They work at Koch and other major and meaningful employers. They’re in the room where decisions are being made.
Koch recognizes the value this kind of work can create for a community. It’s one of the reasons why Koch has partnered with Kansas Big Brothers Big Sisters for more than four decades. The partnership includes financial support, co-hosting fundraising activities such as the recently held Trivia For Kids’ Sake event, and a history of Koch leadership sitting on the Big Brothers Big Sisters’ board.
“During my tenure on the board, I have seen just how meaningful the organization is to our community, inspiring big dreams and real achievement,” said Richard Dinkel, Koch executive vice president and chief financial officer, and Kansas BBBS board member. “I’ve seen the effects a strong mentor can have in my own life from people who helped me when I was growing up. This partnership provides our employees with opportunities to build those kind of meaningful, in some cases life-changing, relationships with kids in our communities that create benefits that ripple beyond one life.”
Kat Lyon is a meeting and events manager at Koch. She said she got involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters shortly after starting at Koch five years ago. She heard about the program from co-workers and leaders and thought, “I could do that.”
She’s been paired with Anna for four years now, and they’re currently planning her 10th birthday party. Kat doesn’t have any children of her own and was a little nervous at first. However, the fear quickly disappeared as she got to know Anna and grew together with her.
“You’ve got a little friend for life that’s looking up to you, and it makes you a better person,” she said.
Kat said one thing she’s learned is that it doesn’t take any special skill to become a Big. You just have to show up, and no matter how you show up, you’re likely going to make a world of difference to that child and their family.
Kat shows up by just being herself. An avid gardener, she’s used some of their time together to teach Anna about her vegetable garden, including a space built specifically for plants for butterflies. One day recently, Kat said Anna came running out of her house when she arrived to pick her up. Anna had made a flip book at school and couldn’t wait to share it.
The book was all about butterflies.
“It just hits you in the heart when you see those teachings in that mentorship take hold,” Kat said. “When you’re just spending normal time together, you sometimes wonder if anything’s really setting in, so when it does, it’s a pretty special experience.”
Kat recommends the experience to anyone she can. She said if you’re even slightly intrigued, you should reach out to Big Brothers and Big Sisters to see how you can help one of the more than 800 kids in Sedgwick County, Kansas, who currently want a Big but don’t have one.
“Being a part of Big Brothers Big Sisters has absolutely shown me how powerful it is when you choose to invest in another person,” she said. “Just showing up, consistently, genuinely, I think, has truly changed my life and hers.”
You can find more information about how to become a big at bbbs.org.
